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Chilling out
Take ten minutes to calm down. Give yourself the same gift you gave yourself before your date — a toe-to-head wave of relaxation. Clench and release your body parts in this order: toes, calves, thighs, buttocks, abs, biceps, shoulders, neck, and face. Progressively tighten each muscle, then release, and do it twice. (See Chapter 12 for details on this technique.)
If you think it’s going to be hard to sleep, write down what you’re feeling and, later, you can burn, flush, or preserve the record for your unborn grand kids.
Doesn’t that feel good? Now you’re ready to go to sleep and dream and wake up tomorrow to evaluate your date in the cold light of day and decide where you want to go from here.
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Gaining a little perspective
Every date has one — a sort of “after” date where you relive each moment that happened in the hours before. Think Sandra Dee in baby-doll pajamas writing passionately in her diary. Or Frankie Avalon singing to the stars on a moonlit beach. This is the post-dates. I must warn you, it’s a very precarious time. Memory can magnify both the good and the bad. By morning, you’ll believe you were out with either Adonis or The Monster from the Blue Lagoon or one of the Desperate Housewives or just somebody desperate. Or worse, you’ll be convinced you single-handedly ruined what was potentially the love match of your life. None are true.
A date is a series of moments, looks, exchanges, sighs, touches, blunders, brilliance, possibilities, disappointments, and delights. It’s subliminal, on the surface, conscious, and unconscious. It’s the apex of your past experiences and the launching pad for the future. It’s an emotional and intellectual stew. No single moment either made or broke your date. Even if your date swears it’s true (“The moment you said you like pizza, I knew it was love”), it’s not.
I know it’s hard to do, but in your post-date, I want you to put your date into perspective. You don’t have to squash your lover’s high just when you’re feeling so good, but remember what I mentioned earlier: A date is just a date. If you take it too seriously, you’re in for both heartaches and headaches. Instead, when you get home from your date, I want you to take a deep breath and relax. Don’t decide that you blew it — or that you want your best friend to be your maid of honor at the wedding.
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